Sunday 15 December 2013

No Aperture.

She lay in between so torn
Waiting for a new light, for new rays of hope,
But there would be no tomorrow, she knew
Tomorrow there would be no dawn.

Her hands weak and shaky,
Her breathe barely there,
Her eyes red and blurred,
From the tears of the pain she'd bared.

Too much came along, 
Too much for her little heart
She burst into fits of anger
And slowly fell apart.

This little soul she tries, she tries,
To fight the tears, to fake the smiles,
This timid creature she cries, she cries,
Body weak from the journey of a thousand miles. 

She lay in between so torn, 
No longerfinding light, no longer finding hope,
She let go of her body and there she goes,
Her neck helpless to the pull of the rope.  

Sunday 20 October 2013

Painted palettes.

If people were colours, our lives would be so much more beautiful, so much more colourful. But sadly,or maybe not so sadly, people are almost never a single shade.There are just so many colours mixed and put into one and even though we're all made up of the same colours, we're so different. 
No one is ever black or white, red or blue. We're just a palette of mixed up, messed up colours, and all so, so very beautiful. 
"If people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane"
"If people were colours, you were a green landscape and I was the brown rocky terrain." 

Sunday 15 September 2013

The Girl Who Had It All.

So she sat there. Her wobbly feet had been running forever. She felt drowsy, dizzy. Her life...she couldn't remember it. Or maybe she didn't want to. Either ways her life appeared as a blur. She cried and cried and cried until every drop of water was out of her now dehydrated body. Just a few minutes ago, she had a family, amazing friends and everything else that the world would envy. And now... Now she'd left it all behind. 
"Why?" She asked herself and maybe the only reason was because she was not happy. She looked down at herself. Her Dior dress. Her diamond bracelet. Her Loubotins. 
Passerby's would quite often say "oh wow, look at that girl. Does she have it all or what?" 
   While she would feel hideous in the prettiest dress. While she would feel lonely in the crowdest place. She had decided that it was her. She was the problem. She thought of how someone couldn't be happy if they had the things she  had.
But then she realised. What did she have ? 
A dad too busy taking phone calls, making money? 
A mother who was always at her little parties ? An elder sister, the kind who overshadowed everything the younger one did ? 

Yes. She was the girl who had it all.



Tuesday 6 August 2013

The Stars Shine Down.

''I wish I could fly daddy," said a dreamy little voice. Her father turned towards her, his eyes even dreamier from the stars he was gazing at for the past hour while laying on the grass with his daughter. He said, " I wish I could fly too. It would be the best thing wouldn't it?" He paused, feeling like a twelve year old all over again. That twelve year old boy had always wanted to make a home up there in one of the stars. He loved looking at the stars. When he was young his father would tell him amazing stories about stars. Stories that elevated him, made him feel ethereal.
 His daughter said, "Yes daddy. Then I could fly to Disneyland whenever I wanted." "What would you do daddy ?"she asked.  He replied, " I wouldn't let you go to Disneyland. Instead I would take all of us to one of the stars up there and make a home, and we'd live there forever." His daughter smiled. 
He continued, "You know whenever you're happy, a star is born in the galaxy." She looked at him with utter surprise and said, "Really daddy ? Really? " "Oh yes really," he said. She thought for a moment and asked, "Then what happens when we're sad?" 
"When we're sad," he paused and said,
"The stars shine down
 And watch us live 
 Our little lives 
 And weep for us."
    - Monet Nodlehs. 

Wednesday 3 July 2013

Wings for the namesake.

I cannot grow while I'm in a shell
Shallow breaths, insatiable quench 
Drowning deeper into sorrow belts,
For I cannot grow while I'm in a shell

My wings I have for the namesake
Tied with a thread, my flight is cut off
My words not my voice, make all the difference
With words unheard, I want the world to shake,
How can I though? 
I have but wings for the namesake

I cannot grow while I'm in a shell
A shallow empty figure I am
A figure, that hard to the ground fell
While others laughed at my quest
I searched for the unknown in deep unrest

I cannot grow while I'm in a shell
My words not my voice, make all the difference,
With words of love, I want the world to shake
How can I though?
I have but wings for the namesake. 

Tuesday 2 July 2013

Ever so Loving.

The greatest barriers come forth
The tallest of them all
They stand right between us
And break our loving bond.

The swiftest dunes sweep us
The darker shadows creep in
The pretty flowers fading
And the eyes of ours weeping.

The treacherous enemies seize us
Their venom it does sting
The best of friends have left us
How many ever bells to them we ring.

We walk past shadows
Not knowing where we'll reach
Our destinations are unknown
But this is what life will teach.

It'll teach you to be strong
To be of the fighting sort
But life itself will bring
To you a standstill,
Wherein you rise and fall.

Though the great barriers come forth,
The tallest of them all
And stand right between us
They'll never break our loving bond.

The swiftest dunes, they sweep us
The darker shadows creep in
The pretty flowers fading
But the eyes of ours are and will always be,
Ever so Loving.



I have loved you all my life.

I have loved you all my life,
I thought of the love,
The memories, the times
The moments shared side by side
For I have loved you all my life.


All the hurt you gave,
The pains, the stressful times.
The underestimation,
I lie a victim of harsh appreciation.


The moments we share,
For love we swear,
For no one we shall change,
For each other we remain.

All the above lines bare no meaning,
For a love that is now ending.


I have loved you all my life,
Thoughts of love,
The memories, the times
The moments shared side by side


The memories, they've come and gone,
Its been such a long time
But to remember you always, I shall never forget
For your love I can always strive

For I have loved you all my life.

Trying.

You are capable of much more than you think you are. The sole fact that everyday, you put up a fight. That everyday, even if you do not accomplish,
You try.
And that is all man can do. All man has ever done.

Promise.

Because agreeing to a promise you cannot keep
Isn't just mere lying,
Its a compromise on your side,
And a heartbreak for the other.

Reality and truth.

And thats just what reality does. When you bring upon a person his reality. A reality that exists but one that he doesn't want to accept. They react in ways they never thought they would, because realities are harsh and unbiased. They are unacceptable and more often than once turn us into people we thought we'd never be. Because deep down inside, we're all just ugly people waiting for our monsters to unleash when we're told the truth. The truth we never want to know. The truth we never want to accept.

First post. Don't really have a heading so this will be it.

                                                    These anxieties, they're killing me,
                                                    The anxieties about a tomorrow,
                                                    A tomorrow filled with uncertainties.

So while I lay in bed, and try, try very hard to sleep,my heart seems to pound right out the blanket. There is much doubt, much guilt. ''Have I utilised today? Have I done justice to everyone around me?'' I ask myself, and yet the answer is even more confusing than the question. I think of the things that make me happy, of all the wonderful people in my life and funny  as it may seem, this thought scares me. What if I don't fulfil their expectations? What if they're expecting someone I know I can't be? What if.......? There are much too many ifs in my head. My head is pounding like my heart, as fast as time, as faint as memories. My state of mind is the only clear thing to me, because I know for sure that it is in the state of confusion. 

So I sit down and put these thoughts to a more suitable place, where they can rest and so can I. So I write, and the pen and paper, like beautiful bliss, like the warmth of pleasant things, put me in a more comfortable place and so I rest. 
                                 For I put in these pen and paper, my trust and share my pain.
                                 And in these lifeless things I put my life,
                                 And it is these lifeless things
                                 From which peace I gain.