Myself.

I am chaotic. Sad. Alone. Depressed. Maybe even a lunatic. 

I'm alone in a crowd. I'm at peace only with my demons. I am everything you'd not imagine me to be. 

As I said, I'm sad. But what I'm not is a sad story. 

I'm not a sad story. 

I'm not an example of a life not well lived. I'm not an example of a person not well loved. 

I'm all things negative yet I'm not negativity itself. I'm the ray of hope I need. 

I am my own sunshine and my own rain. 

My demons are just that - MY OWN. I'm not afraid of others. 

My fights are not with people but with myself. 

My competition is me. My bar is set to defeat the "me" of the past and to become better than the "me" of the future.

I may be alone but I am not lonely. I have my family, friends and myself. And that is all I need in this world. The identity of the being within me. The being that I am. 

All that I need is the clarity of my likes, dislikes, aims and ambitions. 

All I need is 

Myself. 

Little by Little.

And maybe little by little 

During the times that I loved you 

I lost parts of me 

Little by little 

You brushed off yourself, your habits, your smile, your personality, on me

And little by little 

What I lost wasn't my heart 

It was me. Completely merged with you

And little by little you went so far away 

Dying a new death everyday 

And now that you're gone completely 

It doesn't pain so much 

Because all those parts of you that live in me 

They remind me of how amazing you were 

That you were beautiful 

And maybe by the beauty of you

I might find beauty In myself 

Little by little 

Learning.

I love learning. Learning new things. New experiences. And I think no school can teach me what the various people I've met have taught me. 

I love meeting new people. It's the best experience. It has in many ways shaped who I am. I chose. I chose from people, mostly from their behaviours what I liked and disliked and made them my own. 

School told me to be kind. 

But what I felt, what I experienced when someone was mean to me. That was what taught me to be kind. 

People around you will teach you more than anything else can. 

It's the experience you have with people that moulds you. Was a person good to you when you were broken ? Did it feel like god sent that person? Did it feel great? Do you want to be that person? 

I've only learnt from people and experiences. I notice only people and observe only behaviours. People are diverse. Behaviours are too. But in the end it's only as simple as this - 

"Are you a good person? Or are you not?" 

I ask myself this question often. I haven't done anything yet that can give me an answer. I hope someday though, some one will smile at me, and say thank you, and that day I might have achieved something in this little life. 

The Northern Lights.

These lines are blurred 

These people hurt 

Life gave them pain

Hurt regret and sorrow- only these remain 

They flew off to another sky 

Wanted to explore a new them

They went off to the northern lights 

Slowly each saw what they'd never imagined

Little fractions of light melting their hearts away with each fragment 

They sat there in awe of what was happening 

Colours were dancing up in gods canvas

Greens blues and purples they saw every now and then

Falling from above - the most beautiful curtain 

And as every second made their heart beat faster 

It slowly made their scars lighter 

By the time the northern lights disappeared, 

So had their scars, traumas, their fears 

Sitting anew, they were pure beings 

Made of stardust and beautiful things 

They had been purified by the above skies 

Blessed by the beauty of the northern lights.