Life and the little things in between.

I grew up having a lot of issues in life. But you can't just say "I'm not going to live this life" or "I'm giving up." The moment you give up, you meet your end. 

For me the worst thing in life wasn't failure, the worst thing was not trying. Yes, you're not going to succeed always. Yes, you're going to get hurt, but that's part of life you know. Life isn't all great if you keep wining all the time. 

  Life is great because of the little things. Life, is this epic journey, where you meet people, you get hurt, you're loved, you also hurt others, knowing or unknowingly and most importantly, you keep moving. 

Yes there is a lot of pain in change, in changing, in moving, in constantly searching for that spark that keeps you alive. 

  But nothing is more painful than just staying where you are. Just still, with nowhere to go and no place to come from. To only exist, to do nothing but waste oxygen. 

To realise no dream, to appreciate no being, to not be awed by the beauty of this world. 

Yes I could've done that and let my issues eat me up, but there was this one time when I walked outside, breathe in that fresh, crisp air and looked at the stars shine, so bright yet so dull. So full of light and yet not as bright as the sun. So many things all at the same time and realised I wasn't very different from them. 

And since then I haven't been able to walk back inside.

No Aperture.

She lay in between so torn

Waiting for a new light, for new rays of hope,

But there would be no tomorrow, she knew

Tomorrow there would be no dawn.

Her hands weak and shaky,

Her breathe barely there,

Her eyes red and blurred,

From the tears of the pain she'd bared.

Too much came along, 

Too much for her little heart

She burst into fits of anger

And slowly fell apart.

This little soul she tries, she tries,

To fight the tears, to fake the smiles,

This timid creature she cries, she cries,

Body weak from the journey of a thousand miles. 

She lay in between so torn, 

No longerfinding light, no longer finding hope,

She let go of her body and there she goes,

Her neck helpless to the pull of the rope.  

Painted palettes.

If people were colours, our lives would be so much more beautiful, so much more colourful. But sadly,or maybe not so sadly, people are almost never a single shade.There are just so many colours mixed and put into one and even though we're all made up of the same colours, we're so different. 

No one is ever black or white, red or blue. We're just a palette of mixed up, messed up colours, and all so, so very beautiful. 

"If people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane"

"If people were colours, you were a green landscape and I was the brown rocky terrain." 

The Girl Who Had It All.

So she sat there. Her wobbly feet had been running forever. She felt drowsy, dizzy. Her life...she couldn't remember it. Or maybe she didn't want to. Either ways her life appeared as a blur. She cried and cried and cried until every drop of water was out of her now dehydrated body. Just a few minutes ago, she had a family, amazing friends and everything else that the world would envy. And now... Now she'd left it all behind. 

"Why?" She asked herself and maybe the only reason was because she was not happy. She looked down at herself. Her Dior dress. Her diamond bracelet. Her Loubotins. 

Passerby's would quite often say "oh wow, look at that girl. Does she have it all or what?" 

   While she would feel hideous in the prettiest dress. While she would feel lonely in the crowdest place. She had decided that it was her. She was the problem. She thought of how someone couldn't be happy if they had the things she  had.

But then she realised. What did she have ? 

A dad too busy taking phone calls, making money? 

A mother who was always at her little parties ? An elder sister, the kind who overshadowed everything the younger one did ? 

Yes. She was the girl who had it all.

The Stars Shine Down.

''I wish I could fly daddy," said a dreamy little voice. Her father turned towards her, his eyes even dreamier from the stars he was gazing at for the past hour while laying on the grass with his daughter. He said, " I wish I could fly too. It would be the best thing wouldn't it?" He paused, feeling like a twelve year old all over again. That twelve year old boy had always wanted to make a home up there in one of the stars. He loved looking at the stars. When he was young his father would tell him amazing stories about stars. Stories that elevated him, made him feel ethereal.
 His daughter said, "Yes daddy. Then I could fly to Disneyland whenever I wanted." "What would you do daddy ?"she asked.  He replied, " I wouldn't let you go to Disneyland. Instead I would take all of us to one of the stars up there and make a home, and we'd live there forever." His daughter smiled. 
He continued, "You know whenever you're happy, a star is born in the galaxy." She looked at him with utter surprise and said, "Really daddy ? Really? " "Oh yes really," he said. She thought for a moment and asked, "Then what happens when we're sad?" 
"When we're sad," he paused and said,
"The stars shine down
 And watch us live 
 Our little lives 
 And weep for us."

    - Monet Nodlehs. 

Wings for the namesake.

I cannot grow while I'm in a shell

Shallow breaths, insatiable quench 

Drowning deeper into sorrow belts,

For I cannot grow while I'm in a shell

My wings I have for the namesake

Tied with a thread, my flight is cut off

My words not my voice, make all the difference

With words unheard, I want the world to shake,

How can I though? 

I have but wings for the namesake

I cannot grow while I'm in a shell

A shallow empty figure I am

A figure, that hard to the ground fell

While others laughed at my quest

I searched for the unknown in deep unrest

I cannot grow while I'm in a shell

My words not my voice, make all the difference,

With words of love, I want the world to shake

How can I though?

I have but wings for the namesake. 

Ever so Loving.

The greatest barriers come forth
The tallest of them all
They stand right between us
And break our loving bond.

The swiftest dunes sweep us
The darker shadows creep in
The pretty flowers fading
And the eyes of ours weeping.

The treacherous enemies seize us
Their venom it does sting
The best of friends have left us
How many ever bells to them we ring.

We walk past shadows
Not knowing where we'll reach
Our destinations are unknown
But this is what life will teach.

It'll teach you to be strong
To be of the fighting sort
But life itself will bring
To you a standstill,
Wherein you rise and fall.

Though the great barriers come forth,
The tallest of them all
And stand right between us
They'll never break our loving bond.

The swiftest dunes, they sweep us
The darker shadows creep in
The pretty flowers fading
But the eyes of ours are and will always be,
Ever so Loving.